If you have been used by the Family System, then the course of your life has been irreparably altered. Your social and civil standing has been severely compromised.
If that were not enough, pressure is then exerted from all quarters to make you forget what has happened and see all problems as being of your own making and as expressions of your own inadequacy. Everywhere you go, you will face this continuing denigration.
You can't fight it alone, you must have Comrades. The way to restore social and civil standing is by banding together and inflicting consequence on both perpetrators and collaborators, and by forcing the state to stop protecting them.
Your therapist is not going to do this for you. They are collaborators. Self-improvement and Recovery are not going to help, these amount to becoming a collaborator. No manner involving submission to the self-reliance ethic is ever going to restore your social and civil standing. The only way is for those who refuse to submit to band together and find ways to strike back.
When Awareness is Not a Choice
Freedom to Express
Beyond Ideologies (google)
about Alice Miller